I generally consider myself to be a fairly emotionally stable person, but I really lost it last night. I was too tired and completely overwhelmed and allowed myself to dwell on the “hopelessness” of the bug situation. We did some research online and think that the bugs infesting our house are probably grain mites. The bad news is that according to the internet, “Experts say that grain mites do not respond to fumigation or chemical treatment”. The recommendation is freezing them but that is next to impossible in our situation. There are like 12 Action packers with stuff stored in them and all of it is infected: shoes, toys, blankets, office supplies, medical/toiletry supplies, etc. (Not to mention that we think they are slowly spreading to other areas of the house as well). The other suggestion is to wipe it down with bleach water (2 parts water, 1 part bleach) every day for 2 weeks. This is next to impossible as well (can you imagine wiping down 50 pair of shoes plus all the other stuff everyday, not to mention wiping down all the boxes and the whole room?). It’s hard not to feel like it is completely hopeless. At this point we still plan to have the house fumigated on Monday and we’ll see what happens. My hope is that we have not identified them correctly and the fumigation works. The other nasty fact about grain mites is that each female lays 20-30 eggs a day (that’s a big multiplication rate). :-(

Anyway, last night I was honestly allowing myself to think that maybe our best option would be to lite a match and just go home. Obviously I was giving in to the enemy’s attack of hopelessness and despair. However, after talking and praying with James about it I remembered how I said in the beginning when I first found the bugs that I made myself acknowledge the fact that nothing happens without God allowing it. Well, taking that truth a step further…God promises that He works all things for our good. So it isn’t just that God is allowing this for “some reason”…it is that He is allowing it for our good. The question is, do I believe Him and will I trust Him in this promise. Even if it comes down to our only option being to take it all outside and lite a match can I still see God’s faithfulness and rest in the fact that He knows what He is doing and will continue to provide all that we need? He has already provided peace that is beyond my understanding…I was able to sleep quite well last night after dealing with all of this. And today I’ve been able to rest in the assurance that even though I don’t know what’s going to happen and don’t know what the “solution” is, it doesn’t really matter…in the end it is all going to be fine one way or another. For now, I’m just looking forward to seeing what happens and how it all resolves…and trusting that God will give us the strength to do whatever we need to do.

Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement. We’ll continue to let you know how things go.